Relationships can only be healthy when both people have the space to be themselves and maintain their personal integrity. Sadly, many people find themselves in relationships, romantic and otherwise, with people who do not respect boundaries and feel entitled to have their needs met regardless of the other person’s.

If you can relate, chances are you have a hard time creating healthy boundaries to create the life experience you wish to have. Here are some ways you can begin to do so:

Identify Your Limits

You cannot set boundaries unless you discover where it is you personally stand. You will need to take a bit of time to recognize what you can and cannot tolerate. What makes you happy and what makes you feel uncomfortable and stressed? Only until you have made these discoveries can you move on to the next steps.

Do Not Be Shy

People who have similar communication styles are easy to engage with. These people will quickly understand what your new barriers are. But some folks will not understand as readily. With these folks, it is important to be very clear and direct.

Pay Attention to Your Feelings

People who have a hard time setting boundaries do not often allow themselves to acknowledge their own feelings because they are usually too busy worrying about the emotional experiences of others.

Recognizing how interactions with others make you feel is helpful in evaluating whether your boundaries are being crossed. When you are with someone, make mental notes, or even jot down in a journal how that interaction made you feel.

If, after spending time with someone, you feel anger or resentment, this is a sign that the person may be overstepping your boundaries. Reiterate to this person what your boundaries are. If they continue to disrespect you and them, you will want to cut yourself away from further interactions.

Make Self-Care a Priority

Put yourself and your needs first. This may feel strange and even somehow wrong if you have spent your entire life taking care of others. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings and get what you need to feel happy and well.

Speak with Someone

If you have struggled with a sense of low self-worth, you may find setting boundaries difficult. Working with a skilled, experienced psychologist, therapist, or counselor can help you discover where these feelings are coming from and how to change thought patterns and behavior. If you are interested in therapy to explore these concerns, I invite you to call or email me to get started working together. Telehealth appointments are available.